Tag Archives: believe in yourself

Walk Away…My Thought for the Day…June 17, 2019

walk away wisdom courage dignity suzygoebel.com/blog
June 17, 2019

“Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able is courage. Walking away with your head held high is dignity.”
Ritu Ghatourey


Wisdom to Walk Away

Sometimes it is easier to stay in a situation that is not good for us than to cut our losses and walk away.  Knowing when to walk away is almost the hardest part.  Many times, you are throwing out safety and security in hopes of something better.  Much like our pioneering predecessors who gambled everything to come to America or any other colony in hopes for a better life.  Knowing when the time is right, that is hard.  Hopefully, we choose the time, and the time is not chosen for us.

Courage to Do So

So now you know the time is right to walk away, the next hard part is mustering the courage to actually walk away.  But you are 1/3 of the way there!  You at least have made that decision.  Now is the time to get your proverbial ducks in a row, of how you will get along after you have left if you haven’t already.  Once you have a solid plan, or any plan for that matter, the courage part is much easier.  It is not so much like stepping off a cliff then!

Dignity in the Aftermath

Now you’ve made our decision, you’ve made your plan.  Now is the time to walk away with dignity.  Even if you don’t feel it, fake it.  Walk away with your head held high and a smile on your face.  You will be ok.  New adventures and opportunities await, you have cleared the space for them to arrive.

Forward!…My Thought for the Day…June 12, 2019

forward
June 12, 2019

“Don’t let the past steal your present.”

-Terri Guillemets


Forward!

How do we keep moving forward when seemingly immobilized by the past?  Whenever I see this particular quote, I think of another, “Past performance is not indicative of future results.”  It makes me laugh a little.

But it is still hard to not be influenced by the past.  The key is balance, use the past as a tool to make a decision, but only as a tool.  Don’t let it overwhelm you where you are frozen and unable to make a decision.

I speak of this from extensive experience of being frozen and unable to make a decision.  Which I am finding is another symptom of Asperger’s.  And speaking of being frozen, the next quote I am reminded of is “Not to decide is to decide.” by Harvey Cox.  I can still see it plainly boxed out in a sidebar in my religion textbook from catholic grade school.  Funny it has stuck with me all these years; it must be important!

So how do we use the past simply as tool, and not let it steal our present?  I wish I knew!  Maybe simply being aware that this is a possibility?  Simply being aware when you go into that frozen state and realizing what is happening.  That you are being immobilized by the past, which is over, and really has no direct bearing on the now.

And finally, another quote I am reminded of, “Awareness is the first step…”  Yes, I suppose awareness IS the first step.  Only by being aware of our weaknesses can we move forward.

 

Find Your Gifts…My Thought for the Day…June 3

Find Your Gifts suzygoevel.com/blog
June 3, 2019

“The purpose of life is to find your gift.  The meaning of life is to give it away.”

-William Shakespeare


Find Your Gifts

Life is a journey to find your gifts and talents.  Few of us are lucky enough to have them appear early on in life and recognize them as such.  And most of us, not so much.  It can take years before we realize our gifts, if ever.  Maybe our gifts do appear, and we just don’t recognize them or give them enough value at the time.  Or maybe we are told to pursue other more ‘worthwhile’ pursuits.  Pursuits that will allow us to succeed in this world.

I recently came into contact with an old family friend who in her later years began to paint and has become quite good at it.  I don’t ever remember her having this inclination growing up, but here it is now, later in life.  It is really beautiful to watch it unfold as she posts her work on social media.  I find her an inspiration.  And she has stirred something up inside of me.

A constant theme in my life has always been artistic pursuit.  But when I was in a place to choose a career, I was discouraged from it, so I pushed it aside and tried to forget it.  I was also very sensitive to criticism and it really hurt to pour out my soul into a piece and be criticized for it.

But luckily with age comes the ability to not care so much what others think.  And there is no reason to not create for the sole purpose of pleasing myself.  And if it pleases others, great!  Making these graphics for this blog has been a great first step back into creativity.  And a way of giving my gift back to the world, even if no one ever sees it.  Maybe I will pick up the brush (or the pencil, or the stone chisel, or the clay) again.

 

 

 

Courage Is a Muscle …My Thought for the Day…May 31, 2019

Courage Is a Muscle suzygoebel.com/blog
May 31, 2019

“We don’t develop courage by being happy every day.  We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”

Barbara De Angelis


Courage Is a Muscle

Courage is a muscle.  And like any muscle, it needs to be developed and used or it can go flabby.  When we survive a difficult time or challenge adversity, generally we can feel proud of that and it helps to grow our courage.

But what about the not so difficult times?  I have found in my life, as I have settled into my own comfortable routine, that my courage muscle has gone flabby.  Things I once wouldn’t have batted an eye at seem to scare me more now than ever.  I was talking to my sister earlier and lamenting how the older you get the goofier you get, and she agreed!

Challenge the Fear

So, what is the answer?  Well, you can stay afraid and hide in routine and safe pursuits, or you can challenge your fears.  I don’t mean skydiving or bungee jumping, but if that’s what you want to do, more power to you!

I am thinking more baby steps to start.  Identify a small fear you may have, be it going to a crowded store, or driving on the highway.  Then play it out in your mind, like you are actually doing it.  How do you feel?  A little anxious?  That’s ok!  Do you think maybe you could challenge this fear and go for that drive?  How about you set a limit, such as, ‘I will get on the highway and drive, but I will allow myself, no questions asked, to get off at the nearest exit if I need to’.  And see how it goes.  You might find you don’t want to get off, and that driving can be fun.

Either way, be gentle with yourself, the fears are very real.  And every step you take to conquer them are a victory, and should be celebrated as such.  If you can tackle one small fear a day, or every couple of days you will find your courage growing like the muscle it is!  And if not, again, be gentle with yourself, you will when you are ready.

What small fear will you conquer today?

Believe in Yourself…My Thought for the Day…May 15, 2019

Believe in Yourself suzygoebel.com/blog
May 15, 2019

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you can imagine.”
-Roy T. Bennett


Believe in Yourself

Why is it so hard to be able to believe in yourself and what you are capable of?  I struggle with this daily.  Is it because I am too much in my head?  Do I think too much about how much braver I wish I could be, or where my talents and capabilities might be lacking in this moment?

Most of us will experience a lack of faith in our abilities from time to time.  It is normal and human.  But some of us, myself included, become somewhat paralyzed by this while others can brush it off and move forward.

There is no point in wishing we could be braver.  The only solution is to just be braver.  So, now you might be saying, ‘well, that’s my problem, thanks for your crap solution!’  I guess my point is to get out of your head and just do it, which is cliché but appropriate.

The reason some people can brush off their doubts and fears is because they don’t think about them too much.  The more you think about them, the more weight you give to them, and the harder they are to overcome.   I believe it is called ‘paralysis by analysis.’

Have you ever gone ahead and done something you didn’t think you could do?  Do you remember the amazing feeling after you accomplished it?  Draw on that!  Sometimes we just need to plunge ahead and have faith that all will work out.   And it usually does in one way or another.  Granted not always the way we had hoped, but usually to our benefit in the long run.

 

Don’t Give It a Second Thought!…My Thought for the Day…May 1, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Don’t Give It a Second Thought henry ford
May 1, 2019

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
-Henry Ford


Don’t Give It a Second Thought!

Some days it just seems like everything is going wrong.  Like tripping up the stairs, it has a cascading effect.  You miss a step and trip, then you keep tripping.  You lose the smooth rhythm you usually have.  The more you trip, the madder you get, it’s just stairs, right?  Been doing this my whole life, what’s the problem now??  And the funny thing is, the more you try not to trip, you trip!  When you finally get out of your head, well that’s when you seem to be able to resume your normal stair climbing ability.

So, some days it does just seems like everything is going wrong.  But maybe it’s like the stair thing.  If we think about it too much, focus on what’s going wrong, we just keep tripping. Or stubbing our toe.  Or experiencing blocks at every turn. Then we ruminate on why everything is going wrong today and compounding it.  We are out of alignment.

Does the airplane complain about taking off into the wind?  Of course not, it’s a f*$%ing plane😉!  Maybe better put as, does the pilot complain about taking off into the wind?  Of course not, because he knows the plane is fully capable of this and this is how it’s done.  He doesn’t give it a second thought.

Let me repeat that, he doesn’t give it a second thought.  He just plows ahead with the assumption that everything will work out.

You Can Do It!

via GIPHY

The same thing happens to me every time I sit down to write these posts.  I stare at the graphic, read the quote over and over and lament why did I start this 😂?  But then I just get out of my head and start writing the first thing that pops into my mind.  It can always be changed, right?  But that starts the snowball and then somehow, I end up writing a post I am pretty happy with.  It never ceases to amaze, me every time!

So, the next time you find yourself tripping up the proverbial stairs, try to get out of your head and have a little faith!  You can do it!

Doubting Our Abilities…My Thought for the Day…April 22, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Doubting our Abilities
April 22, 2019

“The greater the artist, the greater the doubt.

Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a

consolation prize.”

-Robert Hughs


Doubting Our Abilities

Everybody doubts their abilities from time to time, at least, I think.  I am really good at it, always have been.  So, do I take consolation in the above quote?  Not really.  Because I think confidence is 90% of the battle.

It seems confidence without talent, is better than talent without confidence.  Because at least someone with confidence shows up.  What good is your talent if you don’t have the confidence to share it with the world?

At first, I loved this quote, but the more I read it and dissected it, the more I disliked it.  Maybe because I have seen it in action and was left on the sidelines because someone was able to display more confidence than me. In my experience, it is usually confidence that wins over talent.  Confidence you can display immediately, talent and ability, well that just needs to be observed over time.

So, what’s the answer?  What do we do when we are doubting our abilities? Fake the confidence till its real?  Maybe.  Probably.  Keep pushing on, faking it if you have to, and one day that confidence becomes real and warranted.

And no one can take that away from you.

 

 

 

 

Doubts Are a Funny Thing…My Thought for the Day…April 12, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Doubts Are a Funny Thing
April 12, 2019

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


Doubts Are a Funny Thing

Doubts are a funny thing.  One the one hand they are good, serving as a barometer.  Having doubts shows you are questioning and reasoning, working things out, using your mind.  But doubts can also take over all reasonable thinking and cripple us into inaction.  Or worse, cause us to abandon an idea, goal, or project prematurely.

The key is to use the tool of doubt, but not to let it use you.  Easier said than done!  When I have doubts, I find it is helpful to talk them out with a trusted friend.  Getting them out of my head and allowing someone else to help me dissect them is really helpful.   In the absence of a good friend, just writing about them helps to, and helps to clarify what the next steps are.

Doubts are just a red flag our wonderful brains throw up to alert us that we might not have thought something through enough.    Doubts encourage us to explore further, sometimes finding a better path to our goals we had not previously considered.  Doubts also can signal that we are on the wrong path entirely, and that’s ok too.  Use your doubts as a tool, don’t let them use you!

Have a great weekend!

 

 

 

The Company You Keep…My Thought for the Day…April 11, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog the company you keep
April 11, 2019

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.

Small people always do that,

but really great make you feel that you too, can become great.”

Mark Twain


The Company You Keep

Be careful of the company you keep they say. I remember a saying from when I was a kid, ‘you can’t soar like an eagle if hang around with turkeys.’  It was hard to understand then, but I think it basically was what Mark Twain was saying.

Surround yourself with people who support your ambitions, people who support you. Remove the haters and the naysayers from your life, or at least, try to limit your exposure.

When you surround yourself with supportive people who don’t crush your dreams and ambitions, you are more likely to succeed in your endeavors. You gain strength and motivation from these types of people and are encouraged to continue on.

But remember, it is a two-way street, don’t forget to provide encouragement and support back, or you might have to find new company to keep!

Have a great Thursday!

My Thought for the Day…April 4, 2019…Take the First Step!

 

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just to take the first step.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr.


Take the First Step

It is easy to fall into that state of mind of fear or paralysis when contemplating starting something new because we can’t see the entire path, process, or outcome. It usually takes a leap of faith, just start and assume all will be well and things will fall into place, easier said than done, right?

We do this every day if you think about it. We get in our cars and assume they will take us to our destinations. Most of us have no idea how they work, they just do, and we assume we will safely get where we want to go, and we do.

Taking the first step can also be a barometer, the proverbial toe in the water… Just because you take a step in a new direction doesn’t commit you to that new direction, you might just be feeling the waters so to speak. But if you are paralyzed with fear, you may never know if this was a feasible option for you, or not. It might linger in your mind as a “could have been”, you will never know.

So, give it a chance and take the first step, whatever it might be. Do some research, take a class, talk it out with a trusted friend, or consult an expert in the field. Just knowing you tried puts you ahead of most people.

Have a great Thursday!