Tag Archives: confidence

Walk Away…My Thought for the Day…June 17, 2019

walk away wisdom courage dignity suzygoebel.com/blog
June 17, 2019

“Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able is courage. Walking away with your head held high is dignity.”
Ritu Ghatourey


Wisdom to Walk Away

Sometimes it is easier to stay in a situation that is not good for us than to cut our losses and walk away.  Knowing when to walk away is almost the hardest part.  Many times, you are throwing out safety and security in hopes of something better.  Much like our pioneering predecessors who gambled everything to come to America or any other colony in hopes for a better life.  Knowing when the time is right, that is hard.  Hopefully, we choose the time, and the time is not chosen for us.

Courage to Do So

So now you know the time is right to walk away, the next hard part is mustering the courage to actually walk away.  But you are 1/3 of the way there!  You at least have made that decision.  Now is the time to get your proverbial ducks in a row, of how you will get along after you have left if you haven’t already.  Once you have a solid plan, or any plan for that matter, the courage part is much easier.  It is not so much like stepping off a cliff then!

Dignity in the Aftermath

Now you’ve made our decision, you’ve made your plan.  Now is the time to walk away with dignity.  Even if you don’t feel it, fake it.  Walk away with your head held high and a smile on your face.  You will be ok.  New adventures and opportunities await, you have cleared the space for them to arrive.

Worrying About What Others Think…June 5, 2019

Worrying About What Others Think suzygoebel.com/blog
June 5, 2019

“You are not responsible for what people think about you. But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.”
Ritu Ghatourey


Worrying About What Others Think

This is a great quote by Ritu Ghatourey, who, unfortunately, I can’t find much information about. She supposedly is an Indian author and there are tons of quotes out there attributed to her, but nonetheless, it is a great quote and leaves me much to ponder.  Because worrying about what others think has always been a weakness of mine throughout my life, that I have felt I had no control over.

This quote sort of releases me. I can’t change what people think, but I can be more careful in what I give them to think about. This quote also encourages me to censor myself a bit, as I have always been very trusting and open, which has hurt me in the past. Maybe giving too much information that is not really necessary and turned out to be to my detriment in the end.

There is nothing wrong with withholding unnecessary information. I guess that is why they encourage job seekers to craft and master an ‘elevator speech.’  Then you have your appropriate canned answer right there, and you don’t ramble on releasing to much information.

I have always had my qualms about the authenticity of this, but maybe we save our authenticity until we know more about the people we are sharing it with.  Or, maybe we just need to be selective with who we share our authentic selves with.

And keep our ‘elevator speech’ for everyone else!

Find Your Gifts…My Thought for the Day…June 3

Find Your Gifts suzygoevel.com/blog
June 3, 2019

“The purpose of life is to find your gift.  The meaning of life is to give it away.”

-William Shakespeare


Find Your Gifts

Life is a journey to find your gifts and talents.  Few of us are lucky enough to have them appear early on in life and recognize them as such.  And most of us, not so much.  It can take years before we realize our gifts, if ever.  Maybe our gifts do appear, and we just don’t recognize them or give them enough value at the time.  Or maybe we are told to pursue other more ‘worthwhile’ pursuits.  Pursuits that will allow us to succeed in this world.

I recently came into contact with an old family friend who in her later years began to paint and has become quite good at it.  I don’t ever remember her having this inclination growing up, but here it is now, later in life.  It is really beautiful to watch it unfold as she posts her work on social media.  I find her an inspiration.  And she has stirred something up inside of me.

A constant theme in my life has always been artistic pursuit.  But when I was in a place to choose a career, I was discouraged from it, so I pushed it aside and tried to forget it.  I was also very sensitive to criticism and it really hurt to pour out my soul into a piece and be criticized for it.

But luckily with age comes the ability to not care so much what others think.  And there is no reason to not create for the sole purpose of pleasing myself.  And if it pleases others, great!  Making these graphics for this blog has been a great first step back into creativity.  And a way of giving my gift back to the world, even if no one ever sees it.  Maybe I will pick up the brush (or the pencil, or the stone chisel, or the clay) again.

 

 

 

Look Fear in the Face…My Thought for the Day…May 20, 2019

Look Fear in the Face Riddikulus suzygoebel.com/blog
May 20, 2019

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'”

Eleanor Roosevelt


Look Fear in the Face

How do we look fear in the face?  Maybe it is the simple acknowledgement or recognition of the fear.  Then simply carrying on instead of letting that fear turn us into a puddle.  We can hardly compare the horrors of today to the horrors of the Great Depression and World War II.  But fear is just as real and relevant for us today, as it always has been.  Real or imagined, fear has a psychological power over us.

My favorite thing to think of when contemplating fear is from the Harry Potter books, the Boggart-Banishing spell.  A Boggart in the Harry Potter world takes on the form of your worst fear to defeat you or stop you.  The spell to defeat the Boggart is spoken out loud as Riddikulus’, thus rendering the Boggart into a ridiculous form that you can laugh at. Which is then ultimately powerless over you.  The idea is to laugh at the Boggart, laugh at your fear and the fear becomes powerless over you.

Most of our fears when we truly look at them are ridiculous, even if they don’t feel that way.   But facing them, acknowledging them is definitely the first step.  If you can go a step further and make them comical even better!

So, try saying it, or at least think it, Riddikulus’!!   I guarantee it can take some of the weight out your fear.

 

Believe in Yourself…My Thought for the Day…May 15, 2019

Believe in Yourself suzygoebel.com/blog
May 15, 2019

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you can imagine.”
-Roy T. Bennett


Believe in Yourself

Why is it so hard to be able to believe in yourself and what you are capable of?  I struggle with this daily.  Is it because I am too much in my head?  Do I think too much about how much braver I wish I could be, or where my talents and capabilities might be lacking in this moment?

Most of us will experience a lack of faith in our abilities from time to time.  It is normal and human.  But some of us, myself included, become somewhat paralyzed by this while others can brush it off and move forward.

There is no point in wishing we could be braver.  The only solution is to just be braver.  So, now you might be saying, ‘well, that’s my problem, thanks for your crap solution!’  I guess my point is to get out of your head and just do it, which is cliché but appropriate.

The reason some people can brush off their doubts and fears is because they don’t think about them too much.  The more you think about them, the more weight you give to them, and the harder they are to overcome.   I believe it is called ‘paralysis by analysis.’

Have you ever gone ahead and done something you didn’t think you could do?  Do you remember the amazing feeling after you accomplished it?  Draw on that!  Sometimes we just need to plunge ahead and have faith that all will work out.   And it usually does in one way or another.  Granted not always the way we had hoped, but usually to our benefit in the long run.

 

Don’t Give It a Second Thought!…My Thought for the Day…May 1, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Don’t Give It a Second Thought henry ford
May 1, 2019

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
-Henry Ford


Don’t Give It a Second Thought!

Some days it just seems like everything is going wrong.  Like tripping up the stairs, it has a cascading effect.  You miss a step and trip, then you keep tripping.  You lose the smooth rhythm you usually have.  The more you trip, the madder you get, it’s just stairs, right?  Been doing this my whole life, what’s the problem now??  And the funny thing is, the more you try not to trip, you trip!  When you finally get out of your head, well that’s when you seem to be able to resume your normal stair climbing ability.

So, some days it does just seems like everything is going wrong.  But maybe it’s like the stair thing.  If we think about it too much, focus on what’s going wrong, we just keep tripping. Or stubbing our toe.  Or experiencing blocks at every turn. Then we ruminate on why everything is going wrong today and compounding it.  We are out of alignment.

Does the airplane complain about taking off into the wind?  Of course not, it’s a f*$%ing plane😉!  Maybe better put as, does the pilot complain about taking off into the wind?  Of course not, because he knows the plane is fully capable of this and this is how it’s done.  He doesn’t give it a second thought.

Let me repeat that, he doesn’t give it a second thought.  He just plows ahead with the assumption that everything will work out.

You Can Do It!

via GIPHY

The same thing happens to me every time I sit down to write these posts.  I stare at the graphic, read the quote over and over and lament why did I start this 😂?  But then I just get out of my head and start writing the first thing that pops into my mind.  It can always be changed, right?  But that starts the snowball and then somehow, I end up writing a post I am pretty happy with.  It never ceases to amaze, me every time!

So, the next time you find yourself tripping up the proverbial stairs, try to get out of your head and have a little faith!  You can do it!

Doubting Our Abilities…My Thought for the Day…April 22, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Doubting our Abilities
April 22, 2019

“The greater the artist, the greater the doubt.

Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a

consolation prize.”

-Robert Hughs


Doubting Our Abilities

Everybody doubts their abilities from time to time, at least, I think.  I am really good at it, always have been.  So, do I take consolation in the above quote?  Not really.  Because I think confidence is 90% of the battle.

It seems confidence without talent, is better than talent without confidence.  Because at least someone with confidence shows up.  What good is your talent if you don’t have the confidence to share it with the world?

At first, I loved this quote, but the more I read it and dissected it, the more I disliked it.  Maybe because I have seen it in action and was left on the sidelines because someone was able to display more confidence than me. In my experience, it is usually confidence that wins over talent.  Confidence you can display immediately, talent and ability, well that just needs to be observed over time.

So, what’s the answer?  What do we do when we are doubting our abilities? Fake the confidence till its real?  Maybe.  Probably.  Keep pushing on, faking it if you have to, and one day that confidence becomes real and warranted.

And no one can take that away from you.

 

 

 

 

Courage to Conquer a Fear…My Thought for the Day…April 17, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Courage to Conquer a Fear
April 17, 2019

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

– Nelson Mandela


Courage to Conquer a Fear

Everybody has fears, they are a natural part of life.  Fear is our body’s way of trying to keep us safe and not eaten by a lion or shunned by the group that helps us to stay alive.  Fear is hard wired into us.  Unfortunately, fear can get blown out if proportion.

Finding the courage to conquer a fear is no easy task.  Most of us will not find that courage, and that fear will just get avoided and pushed into the backs of our minds until confronted with the fear again.  So, no judgement here, I am just as guilty.  Irrational fears and me go way back!

But finding the courage to conquer a fear is always a victory, no matter how small.  And courage to confront your fears is like a muscle.  The more you exercise it, the stronger and the easier it becomes.  And before you know it, you will have the confidence to confront another fear.

Have a great Wednesday!

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Starting is Hard…My Thought for the Day…April 15, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog starting is hard
April 15, 2019

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
-Zig Ziglar


Starting is Hard

Starting is hard.   Every time I sit down to make these posts, I have a hard time getting started. Making the graphic is the easier and more enjoyable part.  I could make these graphics all day, everyday!  But the writing is where I must stretch myself.

Doubts creep in, will I have anything worthwhile to say?  Who am I to be saying such things in the first place? 

But I make myself start typing, the first thing that comes into my head.  And like the pond in the graphic, the one small ripple gains power and strength and makes more ripples.  And somehow, the words come.

Starting anything that has an unknown factor is even harder.  But the idea is the same.   A step in the right direction to get the ball rolling usually leads to more steps and can break our inertia of fear and doubt.

You won’t be great to start, that is for sure.  But like Zig said, you do have to start to be great.

Have a great week!

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Doubts Are a Funny Thing…My Thought for the Day…April 12, 2019

suzygoebel.com/blog Doubts Are a Funny Thing
April 12, 2019

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt


Doubts Are a Funny Thing

Doubts are a funny thing.  One the one hand they are good, serving as a barometer.  Having doubts shows you are questioning and reasoning, working things out, using your mind.  But doubts can also take over all reasonable thinking and cripple us into inaction.  Or worse, cause us to abandon an idea, goal, or project prematurely.

The key is to use the tool of doubt, but not to let it use you.  Easier said than done!  When I have doubts, I find it is helpful to talk them out with a trusted friend.  Getting them out of my head and allowing someone else to help me dissect them is really helpful.   In the absence of a good friend, just writing about them helps to, and helps to clarify what the next steps are.

Doubts are just a red flag our wonderful brains throw up to alert us that we might not have thought something through enough.    Doubts encourage us to explore further, sometimes finding a better path to our goals we had not previously considered.  Doubts also can signal that we are on the wrong path entirely, and that’s ok too.  Use your doubts as a tool, don’t let them use you!

Have a great weekend!